Will an hour and forty min give you enough time to get ready?

Me: what do you think I'm ugly and it takes me forever to get ready?

Hubbs: hey, there are some people who take that long to get ready, and they are still ugly afterwards.

Daisy

Oh here she comes watch out boy she'll chew you up. .. daiSy

Compliments

"I'm glad your a cool wife and not a stuck up bitch."

Hair problems

"Could you stop losing your hair? That shit is all over the place!"

Doggie expressions

"I like this dog. If you were a dog, I think you would make these same facial expressions."

Doggie Christmas dialog

Me: "Today on my way to work I stopped by petco and they were having a huge black friday sale! I got the dogs a ton of Christmas presents and they were all 50% off! Wanna see?"

Husband: "NO! You cant show me those out here, then the dogs would know what they were getting."